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Nurse Lara's Newsletter's avatar

Thank you for this post, I have shared it with friends. Something truly helpful for tending to my well-being in these times has been to memorize this verse from Rudolf Steiner. I offer it as as a resource for anyone who may resonate with it: "We must eradicate from the soul all fear and terror of what comes toward Man, out of the future. We must acquire serenity in all feelings and sensations about the future.

We must look forward with absolute equanimity to everything that may come. And we must think only that whatever comes is given to us by a world-directive full of wisdom.

It is part of what we must learn in this age, namely, to live out of pure trust, without any security in existence - trust in the ever-present help of the spiritual world. Truly, nothing else will do if our courage is not to fail us.

And let us seek the awakening from within ourselves, every morning and every evening."

-Rudolf Steiner

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Maxine shaverin's avatar

Whilst I agree with much of what you say, especially with regards to acknowledging other people's choices; I also struggle with the fact that the UK Govt and NHS response to convid left me with oral cancer and now a speech impediment which impacts on my ability to work (have been an online lecturer for 12 years), impacted on my income for 12 months and at times my confidence especially on days when I know my speech is not clear or going out for a meal or having a takeaway even with friends at times as I can struggle with eating. That part varies and I never know how I am going to be.

Part of my personal response to this is positive. I tell my GP on a regular basis where to get off when he tries to send me for all sorts of cancer checks because I have had cancer. No, it was not genetic, it was trauma induced and caused by your colleagues and peers. I refuse as so many seem to do, to claim to be a 'cancer survivor'. It was a lump, it was removed, no big deal in that regard.

However, I struggle with the concept of everything happens for a reason relative to this. I also lost my dear mum a few months earlier than we probably would have done because she felt compelled to wear a face nappy although I am forever grateful that she did not live to see me undergo my surgery. Only to be assured that the day she died she knew I had a private hospital appt (although obviously, given it was only 3 hours after she passed, I could not attend).

Yes, I struggle remaining positive. I go out, spend time amongst nature, walking, enjoying my dogs. I have never been that materialistic and in later life that social even. But when you realise that something you have said to someone whilst out and about, despite their being ever so polite and making out that they have understood you but knowing that you have not been able to speak with clarity, encourages you towards silence. In many respects, I don't feel comfortable with everyday life never mind the worries I have about the potential evil plans those who have caused this have for us all and its further impact on myself and my family. I cannot fathom a reason and nor do I think I want to for what has happened and what is happening. I try not to wallow in the 'its not fair' but it isn't fair. My consultant may be great and also a non-believer but I should not have needed him, surgery or anything else.

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